Mastering the Mindset for Achieving Success as a Woman in Tech
Hey there, fabulous tech divas and digital dreamers! I talk a lot about technical and leadership strategies, but today I felt motivated to talk about something a little different — and a little more personal. I’m talking about the mindset required to achieve successful tech careers as women. Because let’s face it, as women, it takes a certain mindset and approach our life to be able to unlock our true potential in a career in tech.
When I talk about success here, I’m not talking about capping out in a mid level tech role or breaking into tech for the first time. I’m talking about climbing the ladder and reaching the highest salary and influence possible in our careers.
The key lies in a combination of managing our time and managing our attitude. Read on to learn how!
(Caveat: the tips I’m about to lay out are probably effective in many industries, not just tech. Also, these tips are probably also effective and relevant for men, but they say write what you know, so I’m just writing from my experience, and I hope it helps and inspires a diverse set of folks here.)
Managing Your Time
Work Life Integration
We’ve all heard about that elusive “work-life balance” (or WLB), right? Choosing between a job with opportunity for impact and growth vs stability and balance is a person choice, and there isn’t a right answer as it really depends on our lifestyle and goals. But there are some things to know.
I have a controversial opinion on WLB. Let’s toss that WLB concept out the window because it is rare to find a job with predictable and predefined time boxed hours that will also allow opportunity for true impact and success while still affording us time to spend on our personal lives. Those jobs with “good WLB” will almost always enact a natural ceiling on our success with that role and company.
Instead, let’s talk about what I like to call “work-life integration”. To balance my personal life and work life, I don’t strive for that sought after WLB. Instead I aim to be so incredibly good at what I do that I can do it from anywhere, and I can flex in and out of work mode at any time without impacting my performance or personal life. I can work on the road, late night, early mornings, in the airport, on a train, on the weekend, with no warning and little preparation because I’m on my game and know my stuff. Can see the Dr Seuss book already? (This is another example of how remote work has empowered women and others who care about balancing personal and professional obligation).
By integrating my work and life hours, I’ve earned some autonomy over my schedule. I set my own hours, and choose to engage with work when it needed and impactful. So for me, instead of looking for roles with predefined working hours to offer me a “great WLB”, I look for roles where I can set my own hours and where I know I will be measured by the impact I have on my team, the company, and our product, not the time I’m putting in.
Now with that mindset, you might ask, how do I adopt “work life integration” while still holding space for my personal life, family, and friends? The key is to balance the work life integration mindset with the two skills below: compartmentalization and routine.
Compartmentalization is a Superpower and I’m Superwoman
Compartmentalization is not a dirty word, it is a superpower. And my ability to compartmentalize is off the charts. I’m aware that this might be some kind of trauma response, but I’ve also learned how to apply it to achieve success (a great example of knowing what your innate skills are and harnessing them for good).
What compartmentalization means to me here, is effective context switching. Here is how compartmentalization has helped me. I can go in and out of work mode seamlessly. This allows me to engage socially or creativity even after a long day doing tech things. I don’t drag my work burdens into social situations and dump them on others. Instead, I’m able to switch context, and be present for what these folks actually need from me. Through compartmentalization, I can hold space for diversity of thought, balance, and social activities. This is how I truly achieve the work life balance others need predefined time-boxed hours to get to.
Compartmentalization like this is done purposefully. It can only be achieved with awareness and intention. At first, the context switching might not happen immediately, but after some practice it will fall into place. The best way I can coach someone else to learn how to do this, is whenever you need to context switch, just take a few minutes to observe, be present, and process the new context you are in. Listen to everyone around you for a bit before you engage. It’s ok to tell people you need a few minutes to reset before you can engage.
The cons — I admit this makes it hard to get to know me as I am keeping a large part of my life somewhat separate from my personal connections, but people can just google me and read my manifestos like this 🤷. The last thing I want to do at the end of a long day working in tech, is talk about tech.
There is Value in Routine
I use routine to manage chaos. My routine acts as a baseline operating procedure, enabling me to manage anything that is thrown at me. This means I can go off the routine without reducing my performance at work or missing opportunities or deadlines because I know exactly how to come right back to the routine to get back on track. This allows me to manage chaos and unexpected events without it impacting my work. It also allows me to manage a large work burden without sacrificing things like self care, as these are part of the routine. Routine is what enables me to engage in activities I normally would not be able to balance with the demand and stress put on me from work.
Routine also facilitates commitment. If there is a new skill I want to learn, or I want to spend more time in the gym for example, making these things part of a routine is the best way to make it actually happen.
The human brain thrives on repetition and chaos together. I learn from the chaos and unexpected, but I continue to succeed because I have a routine to return to. This ensures I continue to produce and build, while learning and experiencing life.
Managing Your Attitude
Don’t be Ashamed of Hard Work
We live in an age where hard work and success shaming is gaining popularity. Women are being pressured to prioritize going out, having “fun”, and to put in minimum efforts because we’re already assuming minimum returns. I’ve personally been ridiculed for achieving a high salary, choosing to spend my time on activities and hobbies with monetary returns, investing in myself, and for being able to purchase luxury items or traveling as a result of my own hard work. But the truth is, that through my hard work, I’ve earned the ability to live a better life and have even more “fun”.
So here’s a little secret from your tech girl guru: hard work and ambition is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future. So we need to switch that mindset to pride not shame, Don’t let people workshame you! Be proud of how you are choosing to spend your time and contribute to society and to building your own legacy. You worked for it. You earned it. They didn’t.
Just don’t take advice or listen to judgment if it’s coming from someone who’s life you wouldn’t want to be living. 😏
Keep Your Inner Circle Small
I can’t stress this enough — don’t be afraid to keep your inner circle small. What is an inner circle? It is the group of people who know the authentic you, and you know them. It is the people you can be vulnerable with. It is also the people you will naturally learn the most from. We do absorb and learn from the people we spend the most time with — so it is important we choose wisely here, because who we choose to surround ourselves with will impact who we are. My circle consists of people I trust and love the most. It’s people I can be my authentic self around without fear, and who have similar values and mindsets. I’m talking family, my partner if he makes the cut (queens build kings), and a few ride-or-die friends.
Reality check — you are a pretty unique person. Someone who is serious about achieving their highest potential in a tech career thinks a bit different from the masses. They live differently too. These people have an intensity and ambition that others may find unrelatable or even find intimidating. This means that many people won’t understand you or have shared values. So your circle should naturally already be limited to a small population. That’ ok. You’re rolling with the best of the best now. That is where successful women like you belong.
I always say “vibes attract your tribe”, so don’t be anything but your fabulous self, and this will attract the right people to you while filtering out the wrong people. So beee yourself and the right people will collect around you. 🐝
Now, let’s talk nurturing these crucial connections — it’s not just about obtaining them. If you choose to spend time with someone, or let them into that inner circle, you’ve made a commitment to them. You’re committed to supporting them, understanding them, and facilitating their grows as much as your own. Hold space for them to express themselves, and be present when you are with them. Put down the phone, close all your tabs, and listen to them. It takes time to build and maintain true meaningful, relationships. See why I’m keeping this circle small?
Get Good at Something Difficult
Its important to invest in yourself and hone a meaningful skillsets. Everyone has a unique set of skills, or gifts. These gifts can be an innate talent that has been refined, or a skill we have learned with hard work and dedication. However we got there, we have a certain set of things we are good at. We need to lean into these talents — invest in them, and use them for good.
If I had a nickel for every time I told someone that I majored in mathematics and statistics, and they responded with “math is hard” or “I hated math”, I’d have a lot of nickels.
We need to stop looking for shortcuts to success. Instead, put in the effort to learn difficult skills that can be monetized. Learn something that others don’t or won’t learn how to do, then learn how to lead it. It’s quite simple. This is how, through developing our own skills, we can become our own safety net. This leads to true independence.
Be a Builder not a Consumer, and a Strategist not a Victim
I encourage everyone to look at things through the lens of a builder or creator, not a passive consumer.
Here is an example of what I mean. I don’t use many social media platforms, but I know how to build them. I know the Machine Learning algorithms that drive engagement across these apps. Tech like social media and AI is here to stay wether we like it or not. So I don’t disengage from these tools, instead I learn how they work, why they work, and how to use them for good.
I don’t spend my time talking about a broken system, instead I’m studying it so I can navigate it and change it. Sitting on the sidelines and voicing opinions is a victim mindset. This is the worst mindset to adopt if your goal is true success.
Every second we are not building something, creating something, or learning something, we are missing opportunities to advance ourselves. We’re just giving away our power and potential.
Tapping into the Collective Goddess Energy
I’ll leave you with this. Jealously is out. What is in is the concept of the collective goddess energy. What I mean by this is, us women are more powerful when we have a community of likeminded women behind us. We are more powerful together.
I had an epiphany recently. I’ve been working in a male dominated industry for over 10+ years, and working alongside great men has become a comfort zone for me. I have worked for and with incredible men and have learned a lot from them. I’ve had excellent male mentors.
But what has been missing is the influence of successful women in my life. I’ve been learning to think, lead, and act like a successful man. These men haven’t overcome the same obstacles as women. What was missing was female role models.
Once I realized this, I’ve purposefully gone out and surrounded myself with other successful women. Having other women like us around us allows us to get the support and validation we need from a true community. This is our safe space base we can operate from. We can learn how to lead and succeed from each other, and be better at it together instead of alone.
So, beautiful boss babes, at the end of the day, the tech world is ours for the taking. Stay fabulous, stay fierce, and above all, stay true to your magnificent, tech-loving selves! And Bee yourself! 🐝
Let’s go build it together! 👯
